Girls who fish for the answers they want irk me. When I was in high school, people thought I was very smart. The problem with being smart is you always seem to get stuck in the friend zone. Cheerleaders like you, but they do not want to date you. Instead, I got to help them with their homework. I also had to hear them reflect on their problems. I was a good listener, so they often confided in me regarding their insecurities.
I had often talked to one of the cheerleaders about her weight. Being a cheerleader, this was always an area of concern for her. She did not want to look fat in her uniform. Truthfully, she was not overweight, but she was a little larger than the other girls on the team. I blame her constant concern on the image that society holds up as beautiful, but that discussion is for a different time. Anyway, she was constantly asking me if I thought she needed to lose some weight. I was not exactly intelligent when dealing with girls, but I sure was not stupid. Because I was not stupid, I knew that I could not actually agree with her. I knew she was fishing for me to affirm her beauty, and I did so consistently.
Did I mention that I hate people fishing for the answers they want? Well, I do. And every time I told this cheerleader that she was just fine the way she was, it would place another brick on the wall to my house of anger. I mean, she did not see me as someone she could date, but she was more than willing to accept help on her homework from me. I did not get to be her boyfriend, but she wanted me to tell her she was beautiful. And, she was trying to get me to say something just because she was insecure about herself.
One day I snapped. There are only so many bricks you can add to a house before it is built. The cheerleader came to me again, asking if she needed to lose weight. I could not stand it anymore, so I told her that she could probably lose about ten pounds. She looked at me like I had just taken a shovel to her dog, or punched a baby in the face. After our discussion, she decided that it would be a good idea to tell her boyfriend that I was rude to her. He wanted to fight me, as is the typical jock response. It was not until I explained the situation that he calmed down. In fact, he even ended up telling me that he got tired of her asking him the same thing.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
My Last Meal
My mother is one of those people who values a home cooked meal. As I was growing up, we ate almost every meal (besides lunches at school) sitting together at the dining room table. Part of this may have been because we were very poor after my father left, but I think the biggest part was that she really knew how to cook. It was only on very special occasions that we went out to eat. Looking back, I can't say that I mind having spent all those meals at our dinner table, eating the delicious offerings of my mother's kitchen.
My mother has a special ability to taste the ingredients in something. I am not talking about just tasting the combination of flavors as a whole, but a superhuman ability to eat something and name the individual seasonings used to make it. This sometimes got her in trouble. I remember one instance in which we were at some kind of fair type thing, I think it was the "Red River Festival" in Shreveport, LA. Like many fairs, they had a food building where people gave samples, all of them trying to sell their "secret" recipe. My mother found joy, perhaps too much, in trying to guess exactly what those secret recipes consisted of. It was seldom that she said anything to the vendor about what she was doing, but I guess this time she became a little drunk with power and proceeded to tell one of the people selling his "family" barbecue sauce exactly what was in it. This guy was pissed, as he should have been. He started yelling at my mother in the middle of a huge show floor. We left quickly, but I still remember that to this day.
This ability was what made my mother such a wonderful cook. She knew the tastes produced by things, so she was often able to improvise on recipes according to what spices we may or may not have had in the cupboard. One recipe which I always enjoyed was her homemade spaghetti sauce. She would start with fresh ingredients and make this saliva inducing sauce that I can still taste if I put my mind to it. The sauce was a little heavy on the oregano for most people, but for us it was perfection. I remember spending what seemed like hours watching that sauce bubble on the stove till it was just the right consistency.
If I was told that I was going to die tomorrow, I know what my last meal would be. I would ask for my mother to come and make me some spaghetti like she used to. I am not sure what else I would want, but I know that the spaghetti would be my main course.
My mother has a special ability to taste the ingredients in something. I am not talking about just tasting the combination of flavors as a whole, but a superhuman ability to eat something and name the individual seasonings used to make it. This sometimes got her in trouble. I remember one instance in which we were at some kind of fair type thing, I think it was the "Red River Festival" in Shreveport, LA. Like many fairs, they had a food building where people gave samples, all of them trying to sell their "secret" recipe. My mother found joy, perhaps too much, in trying to guess exactly what those secret recipes consisted of. It was seldom that she said anything to the vendor about what she was doing, but I guess this time she became a little drunk with power and proceeded to tell one of the people selling his "family" barbecue sauce exactly what was in it. This guy was pissed, as he should have been. He started yelling at my mother in the middle of a huge show floor. We left quickly, but I still remember that to this day.
This ability was what made my mother such a wonderful cook. She knew the tastes produced by things, so she was often able to improvise on recipes according to what spices we may or may not have had in the cupboard. One recipe which I always enjoyed was her homemade spaghetti sauce. She would start with fresh ingredients and make this saliva inducing sauce that I can still taste if I put my mind to it. The sauce was a little heavy on the oregano for most people, but for us it was perfection. I remember spending what seemed like hours watching that sauce bubble on the stove till it was just the right consistency.
If I was told that I was going to die tomorrow, I know what my last meal would be. I would ask for my mother to come and make me some spaghetti like she used to. I am not sure what else I would want, but I know that the spaghetti would be my main course.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Innate Hatred?
Hazlitt brings up an interesting point in his essay, "The Pleasure of Hating." In it, he breaks down both religion and patriotism as vehicles for hate. I cannot say that I agree with him completely, but I think that there is definitely something to explore here. In my lifetime, I have met many different people, each with their own take on these two subjects. Based on my experiences, I would have to disagree with the blanket statement that religion and patriotism breed hate.
I would first like to discuss the idea of religion and hatred. I have known people of many different faiths. I was raised in a Christian household, and much of my family remains Christian to this day. If hatred was a direct by-product of Christianity, I doubt I would be the person I am today. Growing up, I was taught to value all people, not just those who believed the way I did. There was, of course, the idea that Christians were right and everyone else was wrong, but I would hardly qualify that as hatred.
We also must examine Hazlitt's position on patriotism. Once again, I must go back to my childhood. My father was in the Air Force, and I was raised in a very patriotic household. Does this mean that I was raised to hate other societies, absolutely not. Growing up, I was taught to have an open mind towards people of other cultures. Seriously, would the United States be what it is today if not for the contributions of other countries? I think not. We are a melting pot, and we always have been. If not for the gifts we have been given by people of all cultures, we could not survive.
Considering these things, I would say that hatred comes not from the ideas of religion or patriotism; I think that hatred becomes an issue when people become fanatical in their beliefs. Take for instance the congregation of Westboro Baptist Church. They believe that the bible does not teach love, instead it teaches hate. And they are more than happy to prove it to anyone who will listen. We also have "patriotic American" groups who feel that the United States should wipe other countries off the map. How is this in keeping with the ideas on which the United States was founded. Were our founding fathers wrong when they spoke of man's inalienable rights? I do not think that Jefferson was sitting in his study saying that only people born in the United States were entitled to these rights.
Yes, there are those who take things too far. We see them in the news almost every day. But for the majority of people, hatred is not innate to their belief structure. Though we as a people tend to feel superiority in regards to our beliefs, I do not think that superiority equals hatred.
I would first like to discuss the idea of religion and hatred. I have known people of many different faiths. I was raised in a Christian household, and much of my family remains Christian to this day. If hatred was a direct by-product of Christianity, I doubt I would be the person I am today. Growing up, I was taught to value all people, not just those who believed the way I did. There was, of course, the idea that Christians were right and everyone else was wrong, but I would hardly qualify that as hatred.
We also must examine Hazlitt's position on patriotism. Once again, I must go back to my childhood. My father was in the Air Force, and I was raised in a very patriotic household. Does this mean that I was raised to hate other societies, absolutely not. Growing up, I was taught to have an open mind towards people of other cultures. Seriously, would the United States be what it is today if not for the contributions of other countries? I think not. We are a melting pot, and we always have been. If not for the gifts we have been given by people of all cultures, we could not survive.
Considering these things, I would say that hatred comes not from the ideas of religion or patriotism; I think that hatred becomes an issue when people become fanatical in their beliefs. Take for instance the congregation of Westboro Baptist Church. They believe that the bible does not teach love, instead it teaches hate. And they are more than happy to prove it to anyone who will listen. We also have "patriotic American" groups who feel that the United States should wipe other countries off the map. How is this in keeping with the ideas on which the United States was founded. Were our founding fathers wrong when they spoke of man's inalienable rights? I do not think that Jefferson was sitting in his study saying that only people born in the United States were entitled to these rights.
Yes, there are those who take things too far. We see them in the news almost every day. But for the majority of people, hatred is not innate to their belief structure. Though we as a people tend to feel superiority in regards to our beliefs, I do not think that superiority equals hatred.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Conversations with Myself
Were I to write more personal essays, I would most likely take a conversational approach to them. This is not saying that I would not include other elements, but I think that the best way to explore a subject is through conversation. So many times, I have gone to my best friend, simply to talk out an idea or to solidify my thoughts on something. I mean, without these conversations, I think that I would not be able to fully make sense of the random thoughts in my head.
I have the distinct disadvantage of being unable to turn off my brain. At any given time, I am probably thinking of at least 3 things. Most of the time, these three things are unimportant, but they are still there. By engaging in conversation, I am able to bring myself to focus on only one of them and let the other fade into the background (with the other 30 things I have on the back burner). So I think that I would be very conversational in my essays if I were to write more of them.
The idea of a conversational essay seems a little schizophrenic to me. Basically, you are taking yourself through a journey of words, in order to bring yourself to a certain point. You argue with yourself, you present opposing views to yourself, and then you answer the you that originally thought up these things. Crazy people are not the ones who talk to themselves, but the ones that answer.
I have the distinct disadvantage of being unable to turn off my brain. At any given time, I am probably thinking of at least 3 things. Most of the time, these three things are unimportant, but they are still there. By engaging in conversation, I am able to bring myself to focus on only one of them and let the other fade into the background (with the other 30 things I have on the back burner). So I think that I would be very conversational in my essays if I were to write more of them.
The idea of a conversational essay seems a little schizophrenic to me. Basically, you are taking yourself through a journey of words, in order to bring yourself to a certain point. You argue with yourself, you present opposing views to yourself, and then you answer the you that originally thought up these things. Crazy people are not the ones who talk to themselves, but the ones that answer.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
One of my Flaws
Since I am being asked to write about one of my flaws, I thought I would talk about one with which I have the most experience. This flaw is one to which I feel many people can relate. What is this flaw you ask? My old nemesis, procrastination. Throughout my college career, I have been beset on all sides by this flaw. Why do today what I can put off tomorrow?
Being a senior, I can speak from experience on this subject. Many times I have given into the urge to put things off. Everything from readings for class to papers; you name it, I have put it off. I am in no way encouraging this behavior. When I look back at the classes I have taken, I realize that I could have done so much more had I not put things off. I am not speaking particularly about doing more course work, instead I am saying that I could have learned the subject matter more thoroughly, or put more into the papers I have written. Though it seems that I write better under pressure, I can only imagine the added benefits there would have been to writing my papers earlier. Maybe I could have explored that argument a little bit more, or worked in that one last citation which would have taken the paper from a B to an A. Whatever the case, I think that getting started early would have been beneficial.
So, I offer this advice to all who read my post. Try not to procrastinate. Truthfully, it is a self-destructive behavior. If you are planning to go on to graduate school, you will see the error in your ways. The course load in graduate school is so much more than you will ever experience in undergraduate work.
This semester, being my last, I have decided that I must change my habits. I am going to work hard to stay on top of assignments. I am trying to read everything at least two days before it is due, and I am going to try to have all my papers done early, instead of the night before. I think that this will help me prepare for the course load which I will have in graduate school.
Being a senior, I can speak from experience on this subject. Many times I have given into the urge to put things off. Everything from readings for class to papers; you name it, I have put it off. I am in no way encouraging this behavior. When I look back at the classes I have taken, I realize that I could have done so much more had I not put things off. I am not speaking particularly about doing more course work, instead I am saying that I could have learned the subject matter more thoroughly, or put more into the papers I have written. Though it seems that I write better under pressure, I can only imagine the added benefits there would have been to writing my papers earlier. Maybe I could have explored that argument a little bit more, or worked in that one last citation which would have taken the paper from a B to an A. Whatever the case, I think that getting started early would have been beneficial.
So, I offer this advice to all who read my post. Try not to procrastinate. Truthfully, it is a self-destructive behavior. If you are planning to go on to graduate school, you will see the error in your ways. The course load in graduate school is so much more than you will ever experience in undergraduate work.
This semester, being my last, I have decided that I must change my habits. I am going to work hard to stay on top of assignments. I am trying to read everything at least two days before it is due, and I am going to try to have all my papers done early, instead of the night before. I think that this will help me prepare for the course load which I will have in graduate school.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Photos of Me
I dislike having my photo taken. I always have. I have never understood the fascination our society, indeed our race, has with chronicling each other with the use of images. Maybe my dislike for being photographed stems from the fact that I do not believe myself to be very photogenic. I have avoided, for the most part, random pictures of myself for most of my life. On special occasions, I will consent to a photograph, but in everyday life, I avoid them as much as possible.
I think that part of the fascination with photographs stems from the society in which we live. Photographs have been used throughout the centuries as a way to sell ourselves, whether it be in marriage, or to portray an image which we would like for people to remember. Take for instance the paintings of nobles back in the day. Nobles were often painted to enhance certain attributes, like them looking particularly brave, or especially beautiful. We do this today in photos with Photoshop. I would bet that there are almost no pictures placed in today's popular magazines which are not shopped. These must be altered to reinforce the image which society would like to portray as ideal.
I think that part of the fascination with photographs stems from the society in which we live. Photographs have been used throughout the centuries as a way to sell ourselves, whether it be in marriage, or to portray an image which we would like for people to remember. Take for instance the paintings of nobles back in the day. Nobles were often painted to enhance certain attributes, like them looking particularly brave, or especially beautiful. We do this today in photos with Photoshop. I would bet that there are almost no pictures placed in today's popular magazines which are not shopped. These must be altered to reinforce the image which society would like to portray as ideal.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
On Exploring Uncharted Waters
As a student, we are often asked to try things which we may not have experienced before. This can be setting up a blog, or trying a new critical approach to literature, or maybe even just opening our minds to the opinions of others. I think that these experiences are what makes school truly worthwhile and enjoyable. We are going to school to learn, so why would we attempt to handicap this learning process by being unwilling to try things that we have not done before?
I am currently neck deep in uncharted waters. I am trying to get my information together for an application to graduate school. I call this uncharted because, though I know many who have gone to graduate school, I am the first in my family to even attempt it. At this time, I have people to lean on for support, and I greatly appreciate them.
I am currently neck deep in uncharted waters. I am trying to get my information together for an application to graduate school. I call this uncharted because, though I know many who have gone to graduate school, I am the first in my family to even attempt it. At this time, I have people to lean on for support, and I greatly appreciate them.
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